Life isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. It's better that way!

Crazy Days

Have you ever wanted things to “go back to the way they were”? If you’re typing on the computer you just hit Ctrl+Z as many times as needed until poof! everything is back to the beginning. Or in a video game, you just hit the continue button, or restart, or reset level. Can you do that in real life? I guess not.
This is something I’ve been struggling with for about the past two weeks. I’d really love it if one of those “That was easy!” Staples buttons would materialize in mid-air, right in front of me. Bam, and that would be it. But where would the last checkpoint be? Would I start back at the week after Christmas break, when things got really crazy? Would I jump back to weeks before that, even months, to try to change people’s minds, keep them from making certain decisions? Now we’re getting into time travel, and that is an area in which I have no expertise. Let’s stop before we mess up all of history or something.
It’s easy to want to fix your life to be perfect for you. Maybe you don’t want it to be perfect; you only want it to be better, or simpler than it is now. That’s all I want, because I think I’ve made a few mistakes. In fact, I know I have. Some days I was jealous, I was ridiculously tired, I was sad. We all have those days. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you have to do what you can to apologize, hope people will forgive you, forgive yourself, and then move along. In the end, things are going to happen, things you can’t always control. The best thing to do is move forward, and keep a positive attitude about what will happen next. Keep laughing and keep breathing. We’ll get through it!

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My Awkward Moments: Making Eye Contact

I’d like to think of myself as a friendly person. Not necessarily outgoing or forward, but friendly. Being friendly, for the most part, implies interacting with someone you might not know that well. I mean no one tells you to “be friendly” to your best bud, because of course you will. I always try to make an effort to be nice and welcoming to people when I first meet them, because, well, isn’t that common courtesy? It’s just the way I am.

The only problem there is making eye contact. Everyone knows what it’s like to have to make eye contact with someone; we all had those spontaneous staring contests as children. You look into another person’s eyes for an indefinite amount of time, but after several seconds, one of you bursts out laughing. I have more self-control than that at my age, but the feat is none the simpler. There are a few problems I have with the acute skill of making eye contact with people:

  1. I can’t look at both of the person’s eyes at the same time. It’s hard enough to focus in on one of them, you can’t possibly expect me to look at both at the same time! It feels extremely awkward, so I usually end up glancing away. Then I come back, thinking maybe I just need to try again. Nope. Same problem: it’s one or the other. Which one do I look at? Do they think I’m lying or extremely nervous because I keep switching back and forth? It’s just too much of hassle, if you ask me.
  2. The other person has no problem with it. This is the worst feeling. You’re trying to have a conversation with a person you just met, when all of a sudden you realize they are staring into your soul. I don’t know about you, but whether I’m talking to a friend or an acquaintance, I look them in the eye once or twice, but a lot of the time I’m looking away while I speak. It’s not because I have an aversion to their face; it’s simply that I can’t focus on their eyes as well as the words I am trying to form and spit out. I’ve come across someone before who made nonstop-hardcore-extreme-constant eye contact with me while we spoke. What, are you trying to prove that you’re better at this than I am? You can take first prize, because I won’t even try to fight you for it.
  3. There’s always the awkward, I-didn’t-mean-to-look-at-you-but-we-both-did-at-the-same-time eye contact. This is the opposite of the purposeful eye contact required at interviews and public speeches. Seriously, does it get any more cringe-worthy than accidentally glancing at a random person, only to find they have done the same to you? I’d tell you to always be on the lookout, but unfortunately doing so would only increase your chances of an unwanted situation. It can happen anywhere, anytime, with anyone. My classes can get pretty boring while we take notes, so every once in a while I decide to lift my head up and take a look around. Of course, even though I’m not even trying to get this person’s attention, each time I look to my right he looks to his left. Whoops! Sometimes this can be used to your advantage, though. With a few carefully timed quick glances, you might be able to tell if he or she is looking back on purpose. (But use caution: results may vary.)
  4. Sometimes even I can get carried awayIt’s easy to stare into someone’s eyes is you find him or her attractive. Speaking from a girl’s point of view, I can tell in .5 seconds how I feel about a guy if I just look into his eyes. At this point it’s practically always “Uh, nope. Not at all.” Having a boyfriend changes your perspective. But every so often I see a picture of a celebrity I’m obsessed with (*cough* Joseph Gordon-Levitt *cough*) and it’s hard not to daydream about him staring back. If I’m talking to someone and I happen to be fond of the color of their eyes, I might stare for too long, thinking about aesthetic qualities instead of the conversation (which relates back to my second point). Talk about being awkward!

So, eye contact is not my thing. Maybe it will be one day. Do you grow into it? Is this skill acquired with time? Who knows. I want to know what your embarrassing “eye contact” stories are! Life’s not perfect, and neither are we! Leave a comment below so we can all get a good laugh today. Thanks for the support, love y’all!

Which Way Is It?

We all have that friend who can’t seem to find her way around anywhere. Everyone constantly has to reiterate, “It’s just down the hall and to your right, remember?” Or “Just take a left after Target and it’s there. You can’t miss it.” They nod their head accordingly, and yet you know they still have no idea what they’re doing. Everyone has that friend. And then some of us, unfortunately, are that friend.

I am horrible when it comes to directions. Giving them out is a constant challenge, and if anyone tries to explain how to get somewhere, whether it be in their house or across town, I always second guess myself and end up missing a step. I have to give myself credit though, learning to drive has improved my directional skills by a long shot. I can find my way around just about anywhere when I’m familiar with the area, but put me in a place I’ve never seen before, and I might not ever make it out.

This always proves to be a problem when I’m trying to find a friend’s house for the first time. Especially if they live in an apartment complex. There’s a reason it’s called a complex. What’s worse is finding my way back home. You know, if it wasn’t for the GPS, I may still be driving around somewhere, lost to this day. Unfortunately though, a GPS isn’t always the best solution.

I tried out for a singing contest not too long ago, held at one of the many high schools in my district. Of course I’d heard of the school before, but it was located across town from where I lived. No worries! I’d plug in my iPhone, start Google maps, and it would get me there in no time.

How wrong I was.

First of all, the school’s address was for the frontage road. But where did Google maps lead me? No, not onto the frontage road. I got off the interstate and ended up in a little neighborhood area with streets as wide as a blade of grass and no school in sight. “You have arrived at your destination,” my iPhone spoke, oozing confidence. Like heck I was! I had no idea what I’d gotten myself into. What made things even better was the practically nonexistent signal my phone was receiving. After noticing this, I started to freak out. I drove around the back streets and made turns onto barren roads until finally I decided to give up and go home. But how could I do that if the GPS told me I wasn’t even on a real road?? Luckily I kept my cool long enough to find the school (only a few panic attacks had ensued). I made it through the audition, albeit slightly winded from hyperventilating out of fear, and after struggling once again with my incredibly helpful GPS, I found myself back on the highway and eventually back home.

It may seem that there is no moral to this story. Maybe not. All I’m trying to say is, sometimes we all get lost. Hopefully you’re not like me, and you were blessed with an innate sense of direction. If that’s the case, I applaud you. But for all of my readers who are directional-ly challenged as I am, I feel your pain. You’re gonna get lost, and it might be extremely embarrassing. Stay calm and have your best friend on speed-dial just in case: you’ll get through it, and you will have braved an important learning experience (especially if you can laugh at yourself afterwards). That’s a money-back guarantee. 😉

 

A Lesson Learned

It has honestly been too long since I’ve written on this blog. My followers may have forgotten about me but that’s alright. I know I need to write this whether anyone else reads it or not. I’ve been through quite a bit in the past year or so; I’ve experienced death and I’ve felt heartbreak. This will probably be one of my more serious posts, as I have realized something important about myself.

Empathy is often seen as an admirable trait, and I still believe this. Empathy, however, is the very word that I’ve now come to believe describes me, and this of course has its ups and downs. For one, I get to feel the joy others feel, the excitement that friends and family experience during harmonious times. I get the usual compliments, like “You’re such a great listener!”, “You totally understand me”, and “You’re like the nicest person ever”. These make me feel good. I want to be known as someone compassionate, who cares fiercely for others. Above anything else, those are the words which I hope people will associate with their mental image of me, whatever that may be.

The other side of this is that with the good comes the bad. I can’t tell you how many times someone else, whether it be a friend, a family member, or simply an acquaintance, has been going through something difficult, shared it with me, and I cannot seem to shake off the feeling of devastation or anger or sadness for much too long. I began watching the TV series American Horror Story not too long ago. Although I fell in love with the show immediately, the drama that filled each episode in turn filled me and I had to stop. I’m sure everyone has experienced that feeling, where you get so angry with a fictional character’s behavior that you want to punch the TV or throw your book out the window. (Hopefully none of you have done this).

Either way, you get the idea. I’ve met someone who had to leave an entire life behind to begin a new one, someone who has been through heart-wrenching breakups. I feel it. I feel the poignant tears well up from within me, not necessarily because they are a close friend of mine, but because the emotions are so obvious to me when I hear their words, look into their eyes, or see pictures of them from their past life. Even though I rarely know the whole story, I know I feel what they feel, because I let the emotions consume me, good or bad.

Maybe part of it is because I have experienced many of the same things. I too, have had to move and start life over. I, too, have felt the butterflies of new-found love, and the soul-crushing sadness that follows after a breakup. I’ve felt the warming love of a wonderful family, and I know the grief of loss after being beside my grandmother’s bed as she passed away. I’ve been scared. I’ve been so excited that I nearly couldn’t stand it. I’ve been through pressure, terrible anxiety, and I know what it’s like to be carefree. I’ve been deceived, lost trust in others, but I know what it’s like to have complete trust in God.

It’s taken me some time, conversations, and many a thoughtful night, but I’ve realized that empathy is just a part of who I am. It is the cause of many breakdowns, but also of many cherished times of rejoicing with friends. I can’t let it cause me too much unnecessary pain. Instead, I’m going to use it to help others when no one else understands. I won’t let this get the best of me. Empathy can make me a little crazy, but as I always say on this blog, that’s okay. Life isn’t perfect. Sometimes it can be crazy hard. But if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. And I am exactly who I want to be.

Get Ready For Something Amazing

Get Ready For Something Amazing

Hello, wonderful followers! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but I have some very exciting news that I know you want to hear about. It’s something so cool that you can’t miss it, because if you do you’ll regret it for your entire life. Alright, did I get your attention? Great! If not, I guess you’re not reading anymore. Moving right along, this super amazing thing I need to tell you about is a fantastic new movie making its debut in August 2013! And guess what? I know the person directing it! How cool is that? I bet you don’t know anyone making a movie. At least not one this amazing. The link for the trailer is on this post, so please check it out! Tell all your friends!

The important part is, you better take a look at the other videos on his channel (7mr7random7) as well. He is extremely talented in film and he is definitely hilarious. Are you looking for a funny video to cheer you up? Do you need to add a little humour to your day, because all you’ve been doing is watching the news, or sitting at a desk, or doing laundry? Check him out! I promise, you won’t be disappointed.

Everybody likes support and encouragement, right? (If you don’t there’s something wrong with you!!) This guy is someone who is not afraid to just be himself no matter what that means: a quality I find very important, enough to focus a blog on that very idea. So help me out and show my friend some support! Just click on the link “Get Ready For Something Amazing” at the top of this post. Go for it!

Have a wonderful day! 🙂

Manatees and British Accents

First off, let me apologize for not posting in so long! I’ve missed this! However, the past (insert amount of days I’ve been gone) days have been crazy busy. You know those times, when you have so much to do that you just give up and say “Nope, I’m not going to any of this”. That’s what I say in my head, but unfortunately there are some things that you HAVE to do, even if you’d rather do literally anything else. For example, you might have to go to school, take an AP European History Exam that almost kills you, read books that are so boring you want to burn them, buy a new laptop… Okay, that one is something I actually enjoyed. But that brings me to my point! I wanted to write something today that is completely random, and that will hopefully make you laugh if you’re going through a stressful time like I was. (Or even if you aren’t. It’s always good to laugh).

I have recently started a new mini-obsession with manatees. I don’t want to call it a true obsession, because most likely it will be short-lived, and it’s not like I’m going around talking and thinking nonstop about manatees. That would be…socially unacceptable. Instead, I just learned a little more about them and set my desktop background to this absolutely positively adorable picture.

Image

If you don’t think this fat manatee is one of the cutest things in the whole entire world, then you are no longer my friend. Every time I look at it I want to hug it! Is that weird? Maybe so, but I already warned you I have a mini-obsession. Did you know they are endangered? Well they are, and it makes me sad. If I could, I’d buy the entire ocean to keep them safe and then bake them cookies all the time. Unfortunately, the ocean is too expensive for me to buy. Instead I’m just going to sit here and daydream about it. 

Now I know what you’re thinking. This girl is crazy! What in the world is she talking about? I’m just talking about manatees. If you have a problem with that, why did you even read this far, huh? All I’m trying to do is share my love of these extremely fat, slow-moving sea creatures with everyone. Then maybe people will realize that they are not, in fact, the most awkward person in the world, because there’s always me! I hope you’re laughing by now, because if not…well then I just proved my previous point.

Anyway, now you’re wondering why I added British accents in my title. Would you be disappointed if I told you it was for no reason? You would? Then no need to fear, because it happens to be my next topic. If you know me very well, you’d know that I often have several mini-obsessions going on at the same time, the way that some people might have several tabs open at the same time on their internet browser. “British accents” happens to be one I’ve acquired even more recently.

Yesterday, two of my friends thought it would be fun to speak in British accents, as is common for Americans. I’ve always enjoyed hearing those accents, but up until then I thought it useless to try and fake one, because that is just what it would be: FAKE. However, for some odd reason my friend convinced me to try, and it turns out I’m not that bad! (If you’re British and reading this, it was good for American standards.) The more I kept talking with an accent, the more fun I had. My friends in other classes loved it; my boyfriend even sent me a text later asking me to “please talk like that forever! :)”. Almost every single time people would immediately start to use the accent with me! Just try it with your friends next time you see them. Most people will automatically join in and do it with you. If you’re not good at any accents, try whispering. It works almost every time.

In conclusion, I hope this made you laugh. All I’m trying to do is brighten up someone’s day. 🙂 If you have anything to tell me, please do so in the comments. I love hearing from my readers. I don’t want to tell you what to do, but if you don’t mind, let your friends know about me! Have a wonderful day!

My Awkward Moments: Roller coaster version

You may not know this about me, but I consider myself a pretty introverted person. I’m not into thrilling, scary, crowded, or loud things. Put them all together, and it’s like my worst nightmare. And yet for some reason, over my spring break when my boyfriend invited me to Carowinds, the little voice in my head told me I should go. It convinced me that it would be really fun, so that last Friday I found myself on the way to the big amusement park.
My first thought when we arrived was oh no. What have I gotten myself into this time? I couldn’t keep my eyes off the humongous structures, the twists and turns, the terrifying drops… It was too much to take in! And yet something inside me told me I would love it. The rest of me was about to explode.
Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t my first time riding a roller coaster. I rode Space Mountain at Disney world a year ago, but that was in the dark. You can’t build up suspense and anxiety when you don’t know what’s coming, you just have to go with it. This time I had plenty of time to freak myself out for what lay ahead. So of course, that’s exactly what I did.
My boyfriend and his sister decided to take me on The Intimidator first. Not to be cheesy, but I was pretty darn intimidated by this thing. It took about 50 years before we got into our seats and were strapped in. “It’s fine, I promise. You’ll be fine,” my boyfriend kept telling me. “No, I’m gonna die,” was always my response. That’s logical, right? At the time it was.
The ride started moving and after another 50 years of riding up to the first drop (during which time I imagined myself falling out, or screaming my voice away) we were off. Did i mention we were in the first row? I’m pretty sure I was making the most awkward face ever at this point. (The photo at the end confirmed that.) I was trying to scream, but my voice decided not to work at the moment, so all I could do was squeak out something, which thinking back, probably sounded hilarious! We were going at what I approximated to be 2000 mph, making me pretty sure I had been smashed into a pancake; so much wind was in my face that I didn’t know what to do with it. I thought I was gonna die any second.
And then finally, the terror ended. I finally breathed. “That was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life,” I told my boyfriend. He laughed and hugged me. “It was pretty awesome though, right?” He smiled. I thought back. “Um, well…I guess. But it was still the scariest thing I’ve ever done, ever.”
We continued riding different roller coasters throughout the day, totaling 8 different ones, and 12 rides total. After my second ride, I started falling in love. How is that possible, you may ask. Let me tell you.
I have absolutely no idea. Some things in life will remain a mystery.
There is one thing I learned though. You can definitely be a “noob” at riding these things. I was awkward and clumsy when strapping myself in, not to mention getting in and out. I always had that “I’m definitely terrified” look on my face. I couldn’t lift up my hands, as they were in a death grip on the bars the entire time.
What really gave me away was when we went on “Vortex”. This one required you standing up. I stepped on the ride, and tried to get on the little seat thing that went between your legs, until I realized my feet wouldn’t touch the ground. (For you twitter fans, #shortgirlprobz). It took me a while to figure out you had to push the seat down, so I tried, very unsuccessfully. The person before was in my opinion, unnaturally tall. And apparently, I’m not as strong as I thought. My boyfriend pushed it down for me, but not quite enough, because once the ride started, unless I stood on tiptoes, I got a serious wedgie. Which is not the most comfortable thing in the world, for those of you who are lucky enough not to know.
The second time around was better, and by the end of the day I was having a wonderful time. Turns out the voice in my head telling me I’d have fun was right, because that day ended up being one of the best days ever for me. The moral of this story is, it’s important to try something new and absolutely terrifying every once in a while. You might end up loving it, even if you’re super awkward about it at first. Don’t let that stop you! Just remember that I probably would be more awkward than you.
So, I hope this made you laugh as you pictured my (almost) first experience with roller coasters. Let me know what you think in the comments, or simply like it (if you get lazy like me). You can check out my other posts, which would make me very happy! Also, if you’ve never been to Carowinds but would like to see what I was talking about, you can go to their website and watch a point of view video of The Intimidator (so you can see what I went through!) Enjoy! 🙂


ultimatemindsettoday

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